Living a List II

Today I woke up, rolled over and paid bills.

There have been several things on Loves agenda. Jerome and I have begun tracking our spending as a means to budget for the future. He bought me the Suzie Orman book as a way to tell me I’m horrible with money, “will you promise to read this,” he says, all puppy-dog eyed. He handed me the book and I replied with no.

Every Wednesday now we have a meeting after I get home from work. It’s the time of the year where Jerome begins his half-day Fridays from work—clock in at 9 and out by 12. It’s the summer perk of his glamorous job where other perks include lunch meetings on sacred floors of the Willis Tower, being handed over briefcases of cash and adorned by half naked negro savages with Congo penises and Schwarzenegger bodies…and, here, I just work at the bank…whomp. But, again, every Wednesday now we have a meeting where the agenda is to discuss the formal aspects of our relationship such as savings, expenditures, bills, etcetera. Our first meeting was this passed week over a bowl of home brewed jambalaya with devil spicy sausages that exit as spicy as they enter. Jerome scooped me up from the gig and we sat at the desktop with an outline that he sketched out of how this first meeting was to go.

Without going through much of the falderal we both opened accounts on Mint.com which is a website that allows you to follow your everyday spending by working in conjunction with your banking accounts by sharing information. Jerome, of course, got the idea from the Suzie Orman novel and whereas I felt skeptical about some random website digging through my personal and very private information…I can see myself growing (relatively) comfortable with this idea. I’m all for what’ll make us stronger financially as a couple and I fundamentally believe in us.

By the end of the meeting we ran into a very personal topic that when spoken aloud makes the information divulged more real than having it just tucked away in your mental back pocket…

We spoke about our goals.

We, off the cuff, rattled off what we had planned for ourselves, what we thought was doable and manageable for our separate lives, our life together, in intervals of 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, a year. I went first. And the list I came up with doesn’t really represent how I want my life handled in the next 3 months. Jerome was able to see clear into a 6 month future listing things like 1. ending a month with a positive account balance 2. starting a workout regimen 3. owning a new suite 4. leaving his stress filled job to pursue work with equal stress but more pay 5. finishing school.

I on the other hand choked at figuring out what 3 months could like. There’s so much that needs to be done in a matter of 3 months. Thinking about 6 months was impossible let alone the rest of the year. But maybe that’s why I’ve been unhappy with myself, living below ground level in Pilsen in a tiny 2 bedroom with a roommate at 25 working at the bank. Because after you verbalize a goal there has to follow a plan of action and I’m so use to watching the grass grow I wouldn’t know where to begin.

That has to stop.

Maybe recognizing this will get me further to where I wanna be or at least closer to figuring out where that place is because here is not it. So today’s list will be dedicated to that exercise—finding myself among the highs and lows of action and forward mobility. I think this is what living a list is really about.

In 3 months Hence…

broaden my online presence
1. becoming a more conscious blogger
a. posting twice weekly
b. updating the website’s layout
2. becoming a more conscious youtuber
a. complete 4 new uploads before the end of \summer
3. researching social networks/avenues to share the brand with
a. model mayhem
b. myspace
c. designers against aids
d. logo
e. Boy magazine
fathom out grad school
pay back Brenda
leave CitiBank