Dear New Nephew

1. Staying in from the gym this morning. Must do double duty tomorrow. Will probably go to the Bally’s gym in Century’s mall.

So for the past 8 weeks I have been nursing my education. To clarify my absence school, family, my lack of finances, the gym, my job and love has kept me well occupied. My eight week hiatus is due to not having the discretionary time to become the night bandit Superhero KLB that I portrayed often before the beginning of school. Where has KLB really gone? More time will be needed though before a full recovery. I’m in the process of getting a few ideas together for a stronger and more stable comeback. What needs immediate addressing though is my blogs layout! 1. It looks WAY too busy and 2. It doesn’t look busy enough…??? Make sense???

I should probably invest in a HUGE ghetto cyber-sign saying “Page Down for Construction”

I look at Sweet Pea Walter’s and Sweet Pea Tyrus’ blogs and they’re SO pumped with energy—I need to dedicate the same amount of care for my platform as they’ve dedicated to theirs. There’s no consistency on my page. Wait a minute!—there’s no consitency in my life! Maybe my blog is a clear representation of how I express myself?? Maybe I’ll take a second gander at it. Bravo, Tyrus and Walter! Your pages are beautiful.

I feel like everything’s been pulling me away from my KLB focus. KLB is potentially my creative outlet for the rest of my life. He needs to be nurtured well.

But anywho!...my family is priority on tonight’s blog topic because yesterday my big sister Mimmy aka KimmiE bka Kim had a son; Demetrius Arthur Burns. This is exciting because this is the baby she’s always claimed to want, not that she doesn’t enjoy both her girls but as my mother’s only son myself, there’s something magnificent that happens in the earth’s core when a woman loves her son. The problem I fear with Demetrius is the problem I sorta feel with Kim’s other two children…I fear they’ll never know a home. What I mean by this is that Kim’s oldest Kayla spends nearly every weekend with her grandparents, aside from her grandparents Kayla’s father recently married and started another family that Kayla has to be a part of. Karla, Kim’s second child, spends nearly everyday with her grandparents and other siblings from her fathers’ side. Karla’s father was killed while she was still nursing and when she and Kayla finally get together they bicker more than they love.

The root family lives on 103^rd and Charles. That’s where my parents stay, where my younger sister Karen stays, where Kim stays and where her girls home base is. With each child though the threat of there being a greater disconnect between the root family and her children’s family and her children get stronger. I feel like Demetrius won’t ever get to know Grandma Brenda in the right amount of dosage as Kayla’s been privileged to because Karla, I feel, was a little under exposed.

I feel like this child won’t ever get to know his sisters in the right amount of light. He’ll be kept at someone else’s house and when he does come by it will be seen as a visit and Kayla and Karla will be entertaining their separate families and they’ll all grow to know of each and never know each other, like distant relatives. That worries me.

A lot of this has to do with knowing that the root family has always been the strongest Kim supporter. I worry that this child will never understand where all of this support comes from. So in the spirit of being blessed with a new family member and that family member being male having male genitalia, I decided to write the little tyke a letter:

Dear New Nephew Mi Mi

For all intent purposes, if you must know, I and Auntie Karen Love-Named you Mi Mi weeks before you were born. Of course your hyper masculine father with his very macho sensitive neck tattoo will loooathe this but you, for the earlier portion of your life, won’t mind.

The intentions behind the name Mi Mi being that Auntie Karen and I despised your first name so much that in a flux to make such a name sound reasonable to us we butchered it to reflect our candid personalities and the sense of humor we hope you acquire from being acquainted with us. Don’t fret this method was also applied to your older sister Karla for I and Auntie Karen despised her name too. I declared to your mother that if she were to name the baby Karla I would be FORCED to affectionately call her Peat Peat instead. From that, Auntie Karen internalized my love name for Karla into Peter-Peat Peat which, I believe, became the dominant name for Karla. Your mother though has a tendency to reference your sisters my their middle names more often than their firsts, so please be prepared to never know what your true name is until you’re about eight. Your mom and dad may call you what they want but to Uncle Ken and Aunt Karen you have been dubbed Mi Mi. The sooner you embrace it the sooner you’ll get over it.

You will probably see Auntie Karen the most but you will love me more. Typically how it will works is that Auntie Karen will provide you with random acts of childcare, which, as you get older, will lead itself into discipline. I on the other hand will be to you the tall narrow guy with the friendly attitude and green aura. I will be what rescues you from Auntie Karen.

Mi Mi, you were born yesterday at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn while I was at the gym ogling at the rash of new gym bodies that accompany warmer weather. Swine flu is the nations recent epidemic, claiming nearly 60 people in Mexico and scaring a school in Rogers Park to close. Obama, our nations sexiest President, has served his hundredth day in office today, gasoline is two dollars and thirty-some-odd cents up the street and milk is outrageously priced—thank GOD I don’t drink it…regularly.

You should know by now that your father is a charmless man and is furthermore unapologetic for his charmless-ness…which ironically must be his charm because your mother seems to be smitten with him. By time you’re old enough to read this you will probably be in agreement with your mother, conditioned to love your father’s “shitty draws”…I digress. He of course is your father and I am confident you will come into your own conclusions about both your parents as all children tend to do. It’s one of the very few free courtesies we extend to our parents—our opinions of them.

But I hope birth wasn’t difficult for you. This is an old world with new tricks, Mi Mi…and now you belong to it. I pray you remain healthy. I pray you grow tall and smart. I pray you believe in family and keep an open mind about love. Sorry to rush your first letter but I’m sleepier than I thought. Off to bed, sir!

Ciao!