TurkeyDay Cornbread Gravy

1. Laptop was on da fritz yesterday. My world almost ended. It magically came back to life this morning. lets clap our hands in prayer
   
2. Keisha Kornbread found me on A4A "advertising" my Blog. Claims that I sold out. Threatens to tell our buddy Tyrus.
3. Spoke to WomiE the first time in nearly 3 months. Have been sobbing ever since
4. fortune cookie confirms that I will have better luck in the spring. the spring seems like such a long time away

I'm at the Lesbian’s house for TurkeyDay this year with Karen. It’s about 2 in the a.m. and Erica, my lesbian, has me in the kitchen dancing to Sasha Fierce and churning a large Tupperware bowl of Jiffy Cornbread mix. Dangerous combination. Beyonce who? I think I love Sasha.

I didn’t expect to cook anything at all this year…not that I’m normally requested to cook any year but this year Erica made it mandatory.

Ken, if you’re coming over you have to cook something. The idea, as the lesbian explained, is to get everyone in the kitchen (and by everyone she means Karen, herself and I) to cook our first Thanksgiving dinner together.

Okay I said.

So…what are you cooking?

And after much deliberation I figured with my lack of holiday dinner cooking experience that I’d make something important, familiar and yet exquisitely simple.

So, Ken, what are you cooking?

Gravy.

***Lingering Pause***

Ken, says my lesbian, do you even know how to make gravy?

Insulted, I gasped, reached for my pearls and said, Sure! Of course I know how to make gravy!

And of course my Lesbian challenged my infinite wisdom, How!—she barked.

Duh, Lesbian…I’mma boil a pot of water, add salt and wait for it to brown…water does brown, doesn't it?

She cackled manically and said, steer away from the gravy, Ken.

I invited my writing Buddy Keith over to enjoy our makeshift Thanksgiving masterpiece tomorrow evening. Keith was without TurkeyDay plans so I thought “what they hell, lets have ‘em over”. He asked might he be able to bring anything for the dinner table and without skipping a beat I told him gravy. Keith, who not only is a writing guru, handles himself well in the kitchen too. He explained to me that there were several Kinds* of gravy, and several different methods by which he prepares this magical brown sauce. For example, he said,

“if I'm going to take a smoked turkey wing, or two depending on how big it is and fry it a little in some olive oil to draw the flavor out. Then I’mma put it in a roasting pan with some carrots, garlic cloves, an onion and celery. Add a couple of bay leaves, thyme, salt and pepper, and sage. Put it in the oven and let it cook down for about 20mins. Then I'll take it out, added a little flour to hold the flavor and thicken the gravy. Then I'll add chicken stock and let it all simmer till it gets to the consistency that I like. I'll strain out the vegetables and, voila! That's a lot, but it's really good and savory."

…and Ken wasn’t going to do that. At least not for TurkeyDay o8.

Lesson Learned: Skinny Bitches are Sasha Fierce in the kitten, I suppose…all except for me. whomp whomp

So instead of gravy Erica put me in charge of churning the cornbread. That is how I wound up boogieing to Beyonce while mixing a bowl of Jiffy. So I, Ken, made the TurkeyDay cornbread.

YummmiE!!!