there will be no updates to this blog until further notice.

we're expecting a relaunch in the new year. Stay hopeful & stay tuned! thank you.

-KLB

Citi-Service: incredible

Today it is raining to prevent me from going to the gym. The heavens, i'm convinced, wants me to remain fat, dramatic and ugly. I'm sure there are other reasons for the rain but I can't figure them out. Today is Orange Polo's last day of work before he goes on vacation for two weeks. Orange Polo is the cute boy I work with who consistently wears this orange polo which has since faded to a muddy orange which he has now traded in for an actual red polo. I think its cute (i think he's cute). This was his 5th year anniversary at Citi and we ate cake and took pictures and celebrated on behalf of his five long agonizing years of Citi-service. What is the reward for 5 years of Citi-service?--an extra week of vacation. Kudos to Orange Polo.

The night Michael Jackson died i was headed into work early. It was a Thursday and the men in my department were revolting against the company dress code which disallows those with external organs the comfort of wearing shorts when it gets to hot. The women, who by policy, are allowed skirts and capris often abuse their privilege by slightly wearing items above the knee and getting away with it. So the Thursday Michael died all the men were suppose to be dressed in capris. I was on the second floor between Jamba Juice and the elevators when Jerome called me and said Michael Jackson just died. I shout "bullshit" over the floor of trafficking pedestrians straining to catch their train rides home and had to slap my mouth shut for fear of causing anymore of a scene. My first reaction to was to make a public announcement and stop everyone in their tracks but I refrained and called Karen, then Lorraine upstairs, and then Keith instead. Michale hadn't died yet. The news was that he went into cardiac arrest and was rushed to the hospital. Moments after that did he die.

The revolution at work went well. The fear was that being out of dress code would get us sent home or written up or something to the like but nothing remotely that serious happened. Instead Don, our manager, mentioned to Lavon, one of our leads, that his attire looked inappropriate. Don went on to say that everyone else seemed to be in code but Lavon, he assured, was not. Balderdash. After work we had 4 dollar martini's at Bar Louie in Hyde Park-- Yolanda, Lavon, Damon and I. Damon came late, unashamed in his Citi Bank t-shirt and badge slung around his neck. Lavon and I had three cocktails, Damon and Yolanda had two, there was a fight outside of the bar...we stayed until they closed. I love the people at work.

They played Michael Jackson in this commemorative repeat on every radio station. It was the news of the century and everyone had commentary because everyone felt affected. I'm not even a Michael Jackson fan but I recognize what he stood for to a generation of people, a generation of artists...he was a public commodity, a musical icon, a Bethoveen among influences and all of a sudden gone. It reminds you that no one's the exception to this. Incredible.

super powers

today I'm without super powers or energy. I've been off a week from work and tonight I'm having to go back. there was a trip to new york with pride events there and in chicago. i'm tired today. today i'm without super powers.

Living a List II

Today I woke up, rolled over and paid bills.

There have been several things on Loves agenda. Jerome and I have begun tracking our spending as a means to budget for the future. He bought me the Suzie Orman book as a way to tell me I’m horrible with money, “will you promise to read this,” he says, all puppy-dog eyed. He handed me the book and I replied with no.

Every Wednesday now we have a meeting after I get home from work. It’s the time of the year where Jerome begins his half-day Fridays from work—clock in at 9 and out by 12. It’s the summer perk of his glamorous job where other perks include lunch meetings on sacred floors of the Willis Tower, being handed over briefcases of cash and adorned by half naked negro savages with Congo penises and Schwarzenegger bodies…and, here, I just work at the bank…whomp. But, again, every Wednesday now we have a meeting where the agenda is to discuss the formal aspects of our relationship such as savings, expenditures, bills, etcetera. Our first meeting was this passed week over a bowl of home brewed jambalaya with devil spicy sausages that exit as spicy as they enter. Jerome scooped me up from the gig and we sat at the desktop with an outline that he sketched out of how this first meeting was to go.

Without going through much of the falderal we both opened accounts on Mint.com which is a website that allows you to follow your everyday spending by working in conjunction with your banking accounts by sharing information. Jerome, of course, got the idea from the Suzie Orman novel and whereas I felt skeptical about some random website digging through my personal and very private information…I can see myself growing (relatively) comfortable with this idea. I’m all for what’ll make us stronger financially as a couple and I fundamentally believe in us.

By the end of the meeting we ran into a very personal topic that when spoken aloud makes the information divulged more real than having it just tucked away in your mental back pocket…

We spoke about our goals.

We, off the cuff, rattled off what we had planned for ourselves, what we thought was doable and manageable for our separate lives, our life together, in intervals of 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, a year. I went first. And the list I came up with doesn’t really represent how I want my life handled in the next 3 months. Jerome was able to see clear into a 6 month future listing things like 1. ending a month with a positive account balance 2. starting a workout regimen 3. owning a new suite 4. leaving his stress filled job to pursue work with equal stress but more pay 5. finishing school.

I on the other hand choked at figuring out what 3 months could like. There’s so much that needs to be done in a matter of 3 months. Thinking about 6 months was impossible let alone the rest of the year. But maybe that’s why I’ve been unhappy with myself, living below ground level in Pilsen in a tiny 2 bedroom with a roommate at 25 working at the bank. Because after you verbalize a goal there has to follow a plan of action and I’m so use to watching the grass grow I wouldn’t know where to begin.

That has to stop.

Maybe recognizing this will get me further to where I wanna be or at least closer to figuring out where that place is because here is not it. So today’s list will be dedicated to that exercise—finding myself among the highs and lows of action and forward mobility. I think this is what living a list is really about.

In 3 months Hence…

broaden my online presence
1. becoming a more conscious blogger
a. posting twice weekly
b. updating the website’s layout
2. becoming a more conscious youtuber
a. complete 4 new uploads before the end of \summer
3. researching social networks/avenues to share the brand with
a. model mayhem
b. myspace
c. designers against aids
d. logo
e. Boy magazine
fathom out grad school
pay back Brenda
leave CitiBank

1. Educated Jerome on the musical genius that is Evita—my favorite musical. I think he liked it though I fell asleep.
2. Headed to New York towards the end of the month. Pricelined my ticket for 215, after tax. Will be gone for about a week.

Daydreaming Odwalla

1. Vinny is on the Master Cleanse which entails drinking nothing but spicy lemonade and pooping lemon loafs... all day. Needless to say he's been irritable and fussy and has contemplated quitting. Today would be day four.

For breakfast I am eating Jerome’s Banana Nut Odwalla bar. Yes, WomiE, if you are reading this I am eating your banana nut Odwalla bar for breakfast.

Yesterday went as follows: I woke up. Took Jerome to work. Got home. Tried to sleep. Maintenance people came to fix the wall in my bedroom (it has mold on it) so I couldn’t. Vinny leaves the house. Charles called. Got ready for the gym. Maintenance people leave. Charles called again because he’s running behind schedule. Jerome gets off work early and surprises me with salad. We eat. Charles called again because he’s on the train to the gym. Jerome and I touch bodies. I am late for Charles and the gym.

WomiE went to Cincinnati yesterday with his pals Matthew and Kivin to visit Matt’s father who I hear has life size Star Trek figurines in his living room—the coolest man on earth. The reason I didn’t go was because I am expecting my Lesbian this weekend who, I thought, was suppose to be at my place by time I got off work last night but wasn’t. Damn, this Odwalla is good.

Anywho, I got to work after the gym and EVERYBODY called off. Erica Smith called off, Navarro called off. Anthony was running so late he didn’t know whether or not he was gonna come in. Alma was on vacation, Yolanda was on vacation. The only Citi Bankers that were present last night were me, Shirley, and Adriane and Adriane normally doesn’t work on the floor with us. So in theory there were only two of us to manage the volume that a full floor of 12-15 would normally handle. The situation was looking rather bleak.

Don, our manager, called in the assistance of a few people in other departments to come in early and help with the work, they kept Adriane on the floor, the temps came in and whereas the night almost looked impossible it didn’t turn out so bad….THOUGH it was a close call that next time will only get closer—and they don’t pay me enough to suffer!

But the highlight of the evening was when I made it home—added up my time and signed out. No one was home…just me and my thoughts. Vinny was doing his radio show, Jerome was 4 hours away with his boyz, my lesbian failed to come into the city…and I was alone eating turkey salad and crackers working on videos and daydreaming like I was suppose to be.

Kiss my Angus!!!!

I don't get it! What part of the cow is the Angus?... cuz its always on sale.